New York State History

STATISTICS, 1917.

You have just heard from our historian of our record-breaking past, and our prophetess will tell you of the brilliant future, which lies before us, but I am here to give you facts and nothing but facts, in my attempt to lay before you the statistics of the class of 1917.

Although, we have been gradually diminishing in numbers, what we have lost in quantity we have made up in quality. We number sixty-five, the weaker sex being so in the majority that it is hardly worthwhile to give exact numbers. You can see for yourself that the suffragettes are far in the lead here. The average age of our class is ten years and three hundred and sixty-five days, our class having the distinction of being the youngest class ever graduated from these halls of learning. Both girls and boys of our class have been rather shy about their ages, but after looking over the birth certificates we find Albert Hoffman to be our youngest. Our average height is five feet two and one-sixteenth, inches, and if it had not been for Margaret Greene we never would have reached the two and one-sixteenth inches. The average weight of the class is one hundred pounds and fourteen ounces, fourteen ounces being due to the increase from the swelling of the various heads in the past four years; but we have reasons for this, for we have had in our midst for the past four years Martha Pike, whose 99.9 average is second to none on the records in the Niagara Falls High School, while Alice Noyes is a regular walking bureau of information on all subjects at all times.

Our achievements along other lines are also much, more evident than they were in previous classes, e.g., our musical talent, which consists of an orchestra, in which we have a very talented violinist, of whom we are very proud. Then, too there is our band, and the Glee Club, which, deserves hon¬orable mention.

We have distinguished ourselves beyond all other pre¬decessors in the amount of work we have accomplished, and the high averages attained, since during these four years of intensive study we have absorbed 999,999 histories, the present war adding greatly to our burden along these lines; about 15,897 1-2 Science books, 12,432 3-4 mathematics, and English books, Greek. Latin, French and German volumes which can¬not be estimated in the short time I have been given.

You can see by the above facts that without a doubt we are a very learned body of students. Here we are assembled for the last time, each with his or her own future before him, and feeling assured that success is in store for every member of the class of 1917.

I do here solemnly swear, the above facts are the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
ETHEL TRIGG. Witness: Billy Sunday.